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Betty Chu Pryor
Betty Chu Pryor, Lower School Head

BettyChu Pryor, Lower School Head

Planting the Seeds of Independence

Yesterday, I had the rare opportunity to leave campus during school hours when I joined our fifth grade at The Farm School–a non-profit educational farm on 400 acres of land in Athol, Mass. Formerly a sixth grade trip back when our middle school was smaller, the three-day, two-night excursion is now a landmark experience for our fifth graders and an introduction to the wonderful journeys that await them in our middle school.

For many of our fifth graders, the overnight trip to The Farm School represents their first time away from home and family. Understandably then, we had several students and their parents express some trepidation about embarking on this journey. Fortunately, the trip to The Farm School is now in its second year, and teachers Emma Nairn and Vaniecia Skinner were able to call upon our current sixth graders to share with the class their experiences of overcoming their fears.

“I was nervous to sleep there at first,” one sixth grader recalled, ”but once I settled in I had a really good time, and I felt very comfortable.” Another explained that there are so many activities and responsibilities– harvesting crops, chopping wood, repairing equipment, and milking cows–that you soon forget you’re away from home. “The food was delicious! And we got to help prepare the meals,” the student fondly remembered.

When I arrived at The Farm School, I checked in with the students who had said they might get homesick. As predicted by our sixth graders, our fifth grade farmers were settling in comfortably and were excited and confident about their Farm School adventures. “It was a little hard to be away from my family since I had never done that, but brushing the horses helped me a lot. And it is also really fun here,” a student told me.

In a very thoughtful strategy, the teachers also invited parents to write two letters to their children. One letter was distributed each evening, during a downtime when the students might feel a twinge of homesickness. One student reported that his mom’s jokes gave him a chuckle and made bedtime easier. Some fifth graders even focused on how unusual it felt to be apart from their siblings. “I guess I didn’t realize I missed my brother … but I bet that he is missing me too!”

As our Head of School Brendan Largay detailed in a recent column, off-campus trips assist our students in navigating their feelings of anxiety and ultimately help them build confidence and find joy in new experiences. Psychologist and author Dr. Lisa D’Amour, speaks and writes about the unavoidable connection between anxiety and avoidance. She asserts that while avoidance may make the anxiety go away in the moment, it is not a long-term solution and may only cause the issue to worsen over time. Dr. D’Amour suggests that we encourage our children to take small and manageable steps toward engaging their fears and help them understand that they can do hard things.

When I was about to depart the farm to return to Belmont Day, a couple of students asked half-jokingly if there was room in my car for them. However, even those students soon realized that they were nearly halfway through their Farm School adventure, and the excitement of seeing what was up next at the farm far outweighed the immediate comfort of leaving early.

By the time you read this column, our fifth graders will have already safely returned to the familiar surroundings of school and your homes. The fifth-grade teachers and I are so proud of our oldest lower school students for taking this risk and for embracing the opportunity to explore and bond with their classmates. The students will probably spend this weekend resting and recovering from the exhausting farm chores and the emotional ups and downs of being away from home. We hope that they will soon realize that their Farm School adventure was a first and significant step towards the increased freedom and independence that awaits them in middle school.

We can’t wait to hear about their Farm School adventures when they return to campus next week! Have a wonderful long weekend, everyone.

BettyChu Pryor, Lower School Head

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