Last week, I completed the 55th session and officially reached the mid-point of my “listening tour” with faculty at Belmont Day. Brendan and I first discussed the idea for this tour back in June when he visited me in my now former office at Waynflete School in Portland, Maine. I wondered then, surrounded by boxes and at the threshold of a new adventure in my career and life, how it would feel to reach this point of my listening tour. And now, here I am.
I set up my new office at Belmont Day with the listening tour in mind, and in my first days, I welcomed my first four colleagues to sit with me and share. One by one, they joined me at a small round table. Outside, we could see and hear the pool full of summer campers, splashing in the summer heat. The questions (or prompts, as I called them) that guided these conversations beckoned from a carved wooden bowl, inviting stories and reflections.
- What motivates you as a person and an educator?
- What aspects of BDS are sacred, elemental, and/or central?
- What does BDS do best?
- What are the storm clouds?
- What would you change?
- What do our students need?
About fifteen sessions in, I could see how the tour was a profound way to learn how to listen. For much of my life, I have prided myself on being curious, asking follow-up questions, and leaning in. And yet, I have never kept such a detailed log of conversations, thousands of minutes in total, and noting with intention the trust and connection that builds over the course of each one. I have received notes of thanks, hallway follow-up conversations, and many continuations of our sessions, a largely unseen ‘success’ of this kind of endeavor.
In his recent book, How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen, David Brooks writes about how the questions we ask invite the conversations we have and the insights we gain from them. How we see one another is as central to the interaction as the conversation itself. Brooks writes, “Perhaps to really know another person, you have to have a glimmer of how they experience the world. To really know someone, you have to know how they know you.” In the case of the tour, the “you” is as much the individual before me as it is the Belmont Day community.
What have I learned thus far, beyond how to listen with care to each individual sitting across from me?
- Universally, the strength of the Belmont Day community has come through in our sessions. Our values of caring and joy have enriched people’s lives and careers here.
- Our faculty takes such pride in the PreK-8 model and the unique identity and vantage point contained within a school that includes ten crucial years of development.
- ‘Rigor with Care,’ which our faculty has discussed as an organizing principle, is a resonant focus for our school.
- Teaching faculty expressed a strong desire to continue to build and develop curriculum together in ways that deepen connections.
- Program leaders will continue thinking through faculty evaluation and professional growth in new ways, which is reflected in our AISNE recommendations as well.
I plan to create a few parent focus groups to talk through these questions together; stay tuned for a more specific invitation in the weeks to come. And, I will share the themes more specifically once I conclude the tour. For now, I appreciate the gift of this community’s great willingness to engage and share, and in doing so, helping me learn how to listen–and see–so deeply. Thank you!
